Hey, guys!
If you've followed me on social media for a while, you'll know about my adoration for Rainbow Rowell's work. Fangirl is one of my #1 favorite books and I cannot praise it enough.
When rereading books -- especially with a massive chunk of time between reads -- I'm always afraid that I won't like my favorites as much as before. However, this wasn't the case when reading these again. Fangirl was even better than I remember. It was so much like revisiting a dear, dear friend. I honestly cannot wait to reread it again. When will the time come, I wonder?
Page Count: 438
Published On: September 10, 2013
Published By: St. Martin's Griffin
Genre(s): Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance
Source: hardback - personally purchased (so many times)
Where To Find It: Amazon // Book Depository
My Rating: 5 stars (all the stars, actually)
Goodreads synopsis:
Cath is a Simon Snow fan.
Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan..
But for Cath, being a fan is her life—and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving. Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.
Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to.
Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words... And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone.
For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories?
And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?
~ ~ ~
When rereading Fangirl, it was as if I were being reunited with some of my closest friends. This book is so special to me because of the intense connection that I feel to the characters.
I feel like this little review will be just a massive ramble that runs together, so bear with me.
When I first read Fangirl in 2014, I felt so connected and represented by Rainbow Rowell. I cried so hard with Cath when the various points of conflict were occurring. I felt so heard and I felt seen as someone who struggled with anxious thoughts, someone who has a twin who is completely different from them, has a family ripped apart by divorce, and as someone who found so much comfort in fictional stories and fandom. This book was a safe haven that I felt so freaking blessed to have.
When I reread the book for the second time in 2015, I loved it even more. I was further into my high school career and becoming really anxious about going into college. Reading about Cath and experiencing her struggles honestly really comforted me and helped me cope with my anxiety about college because if my fave can survive, surely I could too. Again, I am so blessed by Rainbow Rowell. I love her so much.
When I reread the book for the third time in 2019, I was about to go into my senior year of college. I had grown SO MUCH compared to 2015-Olivia. I had conquered the many many things that I had dreaded before and I've done exceeding well. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm flourishing in college and now...at 22, I saw myself even more in Cath. Revisiting this book was honestly so nerve-wracking. I was afraid that I wouldn't love it like I had 4 years ago, but that was definitely not the case. I think I love it even more.
This past year, 2019, I was able to meet Rainbow at her stop in Cincinnati for her tour for Pumpkinheads with Faith Erin Hicks. Not only was I able to meet her and ask her to sign my books, but I also had two minutes to thank her for writing Fangirl and rambling about how much her words and her story meant to me. Honestly, I think we bonded a little bit because she thanked me and gave me a signed bookplate for my copy of Wayward Son. I'm so blessed to have met her. I cried a little bit and I cannot wait to potentially meet her again in the future. Fangirl means the world to me. You should definitely read it. (Here is a picture of a flustered and fangirling Olivia at the event.)
There are many reasons why I enjoy this book. The pacing, the characters, the fandom aspects, the representation for anxiety, twin sibling representation, discussions on writing and becoming a better writer, and more.
First of all, the representation of anxiety is just fantastic. Some do not enjoy Cath's character or the representation, however, I think that it accurately encapsulates my own struggles. My anxiety, I feel, is so similar to Cath's and I found myself in the novel. For me, it perfectly encapsulated the feelings that I have felt for so many years. When I found books that featured twins as main characters, or even side characters, I found myself struggling to connect to their relationships because they never represented my sister and I. We are completely different people. Though we grew up really enjoying some of the same things and really bonding over our love for our fandoms and bands, we grew up to be so so so different people. When you're a twin and you meet someone who has never really met a set of twins, the person will often expect the twins to be two halves of a whole, rather than two separate people. My sister and I actively have sought out our own friends, interests, and scholarly pursuits. We don't really do things that are all that alike anymore.
When I first read this in 2014 and 2015, my sister and I were just beginning to find ourselves outside of twin-hood. It was so fun and liberating, but also really scary. I loved my sister, but I wasn't my sister. However, I still wanted to be besties with my sister. We weren't necessarily bestie besties with each other, but I knew I could confide in her and we could talk about the dumbest things at all hours of the day. What if she decided that she wasn't interested in being friends anymore? While reading Fangirl, I felt so seen. Cath's worries about her friendship with her sister made me feel so connected to her.
While discussing Cath, I think it would be good to mention that I really resonate with her emotional capacity and her personality. We are honestly so similar that I felt like Rainbow Rowell had crawled into my vents and watched me for a few years or even just had a vision that saw how my freshmen year of college would go. It's crazy how similar Cath and I are. I just RESONATE WITH HER OKAY?
When I reread Fangirl this past year, I noticed more aspects that I hadn't fully comprehended when I read it in high school. I loved the realistic dynamic between Cath and Reagan. It's very true to some experiences in college. Additionally, I really loved Cath's relationship with her writing professor, especially toward the end. English professors and instructors are always the coolest and kindest people. I don't make the rules. That's just the facts.
I'm not sure how I can write a review without mentioning Levi. Levi. The love of my life. The best book boyfriend. The sweetest love interest ever. I love him so much. While rereading, I noticed how much he struggled with reading and it honestly broke my heart because he loves stories and he works so hard to succeed. I love the different measures he goes through and the support system around him that further helps him with his studies. I think it's so important to acknowledge that not everyone has the ability to read with so much vigor like Cath. I love how they bonded over Cath's writing and over books in general. They're such a wholesome couple and I love them forever and always.
I'm not going to go into why Cath's family dynamic made me feel so seen, but full disclosure, my parents are divorced and I have dad issues. A lot of my mental health issues stem from the feelings that I felt when my parents split. That's life, my dudes. When I first read the book, I didn't realize how much her feelings about her parents resonated with me. Again, I'm not going to go into it, but it was powerful and it really helped me put my life and my mental health into perspective. Cath's mom-issues were just so valid and relatable to me. I could totally see myself in her struggles as she faced the feelings she didn't want to acknowledge growing up. When it comes to trauma that stems from parental issues like divorce or feelings of abandonment, I really love to see characters grapple with those struggles. Not because I want them to suffer, but so many people struggle with those issues. They're valid and unfortunately common.
Overall, this book is just perfect to me. I highly recommend it to all of my nerdy fandom people, my people who love to write, my people who are grappling with big changes in their lives. I know that this book gets a lot of backlash because some people feel that the mental health issues aren't written well or accurately, but I don't think that's the case. Every person who struggles with their mental health interacts with their demons and struggles differently. No one handles them the same and no diagnosis or case is the same. To say that a character doesn't handle their mental health struggles correctly is so ridiculous to me. Now there are some books that absolutely do not handle things well. Either something is romanticized, trivialized, or misdiagnosed or misrepresented, but I don't think that Fangirl does this. I see so much of my own life in this book. It has helped me so much when it comes to working through my own anxieties and worries and struggles.
I think it is such a wonderful book. I hope you give it a chance and I hope you love it. Either way, I'd love to discuss your opinions in the comments, via email, or even my Instagram DMs. Let's discuss!
Happy reading!
Olivia
~Liv the Book Nerd~
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